January 22, 2012

Last Man

I walk the skeletal shores of a dead ocean. The sun is a bloated red smear bleeding into the sky.

It’s the last days of planet Earth and I’m the last man on it.

I have lived billions of years. I have seen the rise and fall of a hundred thousand empires. I have seen stars brought to life and killed. I have seen planets destroyed and witnessed great interstellar wars. I was there when mankind went extinct.

I have only one regret. I should have gone out with Judy that one night. I bet I could have gotten laid.


Jenny got a blank book on her birthday, a magical book. She didn’t know it was magical though.

Like any tweener, she lived daily the drama of teenagers trying to find their place in the world.

She wrote in the book nightly, all her woes, everyone who slighted her, and what she wanted done to them. The book complied.

Eloise broke her leg. Margaret choked on a dick. Sasha got fat.

Jenny’s mother found her dead one morning. In her hand she clutched Justin Bieber concert tickets.

The last words written in the book was: “I’d die for JB tix”.